Survival Of The Wettest: Hellfest 2023 – Day Four
There was a warning of heavy rain for the last day of Hellfest, so we decided to quickly pack our shit as soon as we woke up before the storms stopped us dead on our tracks. But we didn’t immediately leave the festival grounds, we just did the good ol’ ritual of packing everything in the morning just so we could leave immediately after the last show of the day. Why? To catch less traffic, that’s why. It’s always a sad activity, however, that of packing everything, because it always means that the festival is coming to a close. We would wipe our tears but the aforementioned heavy rain did not allow us some pleasantries. So, after throwing all our stuff into the car except for the absolute essentials, we sought some refugee amid the press area. A few more individuals had the exact same idea, and so, we all remained with something above our heads until the storm decided to subside. The whole ordeal made us lose a couple of bands, so after we had our lunch, we set off to the Mainstages to make up for lost time.
First on the list was Halestorm. Not to be confused with their pirate metal counterparts that are missing a letter, Halestorm play a more hard rocking form of heavy metal, led by the charismatic vocalist and guitarist Lzzy Hale. Focused on their latest studio offering, Back From The Dead, the band gave a lukewarm performance at best, which is ironic considering the title of the aforementioned record. The problem wasn’t the performance itself; it was more due to their questionable choice of setlist. Playing on the biggest metal festival of them all and with such a short set, you’d think that maybe the band would have chosen to play less ballads and more of their rocking stuff. But they didn’t, and so, we were left a bit confused by the whole thing. Still, some people seemed to enjoy it, but then again, some people enjoyed Machine Gun Kelly two days prior as well, didn’t they? Choosing to remain close to the Mainstages, our bodies stood ready to receive another dosage of beatdown hardcore, brought to us by the one and only Hatebreed. These loveable bastards keep getting better and better, age doesn’t seem to slow them down in the slightest. Their latest record, Weight of the False Self, is a true testament to that sentiment, but despite bringing new stuff in the luggage, the band had a different idea in mind, choosing to play past material, namely from their seminal records “Perseverance”, “The Rise of Brutality” and “Supremacy”. “Destroy Everything”, huh? Yes, sir, can do! Devastation is the only good way to describe a performance by Hatebreed and this one had everything in it, including our personal favourite, “In Ashes They Shall Reap”. We kept standing still at the Mainstages – figuratively, of course -, and got a glimpse of what a true party can be on and off the stage with Electric Callboy. Confetti-shooting personal cannons? Check. A dance until you feel dead tired kind of beat? Check. Tons of shenanigans? Double check. Electric Callboy turned Hellfest into a dancefloor and the people obliged. It was nice seeing the wonderfully powerful beats of Tekkno, even if they start sounding a tad repetitive after some time. Speaking of repetition, we got to see Amon Amarth again. It’s been quite some time since we last saw the viking Swedes of melodic death metal perform live in a vicinity close to use, and frankly, we wished it had stayed that way. Don’t get us wrong, we do like the band, but their performance and music as a tendency to be quite tedious after the first viewing. They suffer from the same syndrome that Cannibal Corpse does; the music sounds all the same, the speeches in between songs are the same, and the only thing that sort of changes is the scenario, which as also been the same for a while. But I guess they had some pyro this time around, they didn’t have that over ten years ago when we last saw them.
But if one truly desired pyro, it would be Tenacious D that would serve as the providers of proper metaphorical flames. This one was a wild ride for many reasons, the first being the fact that we were actually seeing Jack Black and Kyle Gass on the Hellfest stage. Pretty crazy, if you ask us. Long gone are the years where we watched The Pick of Destiny every other month; to some of us, it was the best goddamn heavy metal movie ever made. There have been a few more since then, but none have come close to the grandeur of this epic tale of two musicians that challenged Dave Gro… we mean, the Devil, to a music duel. Well, maybe except for Heavy Trip, that is a really cool flick. Digressions aside, the performance itself was everything a fan of the movie could ever hope for, chock-full of references and tunes from the soundtrack like the marvelous “Kickapoo”, the fantastic “Tribute”, the hilariously eruptive “Master Exploder” and the iconic “Beelzeboss (The Final Showdown)”, where Jack Black and Kyle Gass’ bassist compadre John Spiker being possessed by Satan himself, in an amusing recreation of the famous cinematic confrontation. Oh, and have we mentioned that Jack Black brought his world-famous sax-a-boom to perform the eponymous song? Kyle Gass had a bigger one, though. A fantastic performance through and through, with a special guest appearance from none other than Biffy Pyro, played by JR Reed, the loveable Lee of the movie. After all that absurdity, we returned to the Altar to see the thrash metal legends Dark Angel who, unlike Black Flag on the day prior, actually have no founding members within the band. But is that a bad thing? As bands like Napalm Death and Hour of Penance will attest, it not always is. Dark Angel is, however, one of those cases where a band is purely living of its cult status, as their last record was released all the way back in 1991. But if people keep wanting to see them regardless, who are we to blame? The proof is in the pudding, as they say, as the band itself is still an extraordinarily well-oiled machine, with Gene Hoglan still delivering those intensely precise and fast as fuck drum pummels, while guitarist Eric Meyer still spits rapid-fire riffs alongside their new guitarist Laura Christine. Special note to vocalist Ron Rinehart that, even after all these years, is still one hell of a frontman with one hell of a voice. More than once did he stood tall on top of some stacks, pumping the crowd and spewing forth caustic lyrics from songs such as “Time Does Not Heal”, “The Death of Innocence”, “Death Is Certain (Life Is Not)” and “Darkness Descends”. The only sad part was the incredibly low amount of people that turned up to their show, as most of the festival was attending the alleged reunion of one original member with some other redneck dude that used to have a band together. Were they called Cougar or something? They did play glam metal in the past, but we digress.
We made one final stop at the Valley to see the giants of sludge metal Melvins. We say refer only sludge because if we were to list all the genres the band has delved into, that would be a whole article of its own. Currently celebrating their 40th Anniversary, a stop by Hellfest, which has hosted some of their best shows in the past, was a no-brainer. The trio of vocalist and guitarist Buzz Osborne, drummer Dale Crover and bassist Steven McDonald still have a lot of gas in the tank, as can be heard on their continuous and constant studio output, as well as in their live shows. This was our very first time seeing the band live and was one of our most anticipated performances as well. And let us just say that we did not feel disappointed in the slightest, especially since the trio played some of our favourite tunes from their repertoire such as “Evil New War God”, “A History of Bad Men”, “Night Goat” and “Boris”. Before the end, we made a quick stop at the Warzone to see The Ghost Inside as per the recommendation of a friend, but all we could think of during the few minutes we watched the band was that we could be elsewhere watching something much better. And so, we decided to end our stay at this year’s Hellfest with a final stop at the Altar to see Testament, the magnificent giants of thrash metal that should totally be a part of the Big Four, in our humble opinion. Another perfect example of a well-oiled machine, Testament are a band that ages gracefully like wine. Hurling classic after classic at our faces, Chuck Billy and company didn’t stop much in between songs, preferring to always keep the pace at an all time high, giving no quarter to those that felt tired after four entire days of metal and debauchery. A perfect, fiery end for another amazing edition of the best metal festival of all time. As the fireworks filled the night sky, we dragged our bodies back into the car, sharing one last drink before departing. As the the tiredness creeped into our very bones, we could only dream of what marvels Hellfest would decide to bring next year. But for now, a well-deserved rest.
Words by Filipe Silva
Photos by Alexandra Ramos
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